I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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