2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
