they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
