too bad you live with your parents still
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
