Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dear god my vagina.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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