on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
