I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
