Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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