As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
