i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
