Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
