It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
