Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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