Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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