Say something about gay babies.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
