I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
