you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize