come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
