weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
