so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
