he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
