I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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