some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it hurts more in the daytime
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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