it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Will exercising make me less horny?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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