The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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