1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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