I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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