oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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