We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
