Sponge bath it is.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
