i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
