Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
