All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
