Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My life is pants optional.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
