YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
