My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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