I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
time to smoke my breakfast
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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