i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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