smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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