He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
