Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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