I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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