Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
