Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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