to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Send help, water and tortillas.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
