Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
