woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize