I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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