umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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