...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
