how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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