yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
