NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
