WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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