id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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