before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
