I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
