He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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