Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
