My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
