I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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