Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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