I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
