please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize