I just saw a hot homeless man
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
