Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize