I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
