i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
