It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This is my gift to your gina
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
